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Trophies ‘- certainly, going up against Nekroleptic was one of the hardest moments of my career. His droid, the Frenzy 14, was… well, let me tell you, I still put it down to luck that I got to him before he hit me with one of those Annhilators.’ ‘Ah, so modest, Mr. Tulin!’ ‘Hyperath, please.’ ‘Of course, I’m sorry. So, Hyperath, away from the arena-’ ‘Away from the arena? Hah! I haven’t been away from the arena for five years now.’ ‘But you must admit you have a private life that’s the envy of most players.’ ‘Indeed, yes. My wife Sara and I have been married for a year now, and we have a wonderful relationship. She’s so supportive. Also, I must mention my Chief Engineer, Harry Gordon. We’re great friends and he’s a damn good worker. Couldn’t live without him.’ ‘There you have it, folks, an intriguing glimpse into the life of a professional Droidarena player. This is Kitty Fontana, for Consolidated Ubinet Entertainment, signing off.’ ‘Mmm. Mmmmm.’ She planted a damp line of kisses from his forehead down to his collarbone. He idly undid the buttons of her blouse, as errant strands of dirty-blonde hair swept across his face. ‘I love you.’ ‘I love you too, Sara.’ As she leant to unbutton his shirt, her elbow banged hard against the metal wall, and she cried out. ‘Oh, baby-’ ‘Why do we have to come here?’ she said. ‘You know why.’ ‘But Harry, it’s so… unromantic.’ ‘Baby, there’ll be time for romance later. For now, we’ve got Jack breathing down our necks.’ He kissed her. Even in the ugly, fluorescent glare of the droid’s empty missile bay, she looked so beautiful. ‘Do you want to stop?’ ‘It’s just… Yes. I’m sorry, Harry.’ ‘It’s fine.’ He got up and went over to the hatch. But when he typed in the code and twisted the handle, it wouldn’t open. ‘Damn. Must have locked itself.’ ‘But that means we’re trapped!’ ‘It’s fine, baby. Jack knows I’m working on the droid. He’ll come to check on me soon enough, and he’ll let us out.’ ‘And find us here together!’ Sara said, appalled. ‘I’ll say I came to show you something I was working on.’ ‘But you’re not wearing any tools. And Jack knows I’m not interested in his droids.’ ‘It’ll be okay, sweetheart. Let’s just wait.’ But as he said it, a squeal of interference filled the bay, and then Jack’s voice came from somewhere in the upper corners of the room. ‘Hello, my lovebirds,’ said the voice, tinny and crackling. ‘I know you’re there. I know you’ve been coming here for months. I’ve watched you betray me.’ Sara screamed, and started to sob. ‘My wife is probably already in tears. She always was a delicate girl. Although, Harry, some of the things you and Sara do don’t look very delicate to me. ‘As you may have already guessed, you’re trapped. You can type in any code you want, and the hatch won’t open. Not until you’re right where I want you. In the middle of Old London.’ Harry gasped and held Sara close to him. ‘Could it be, Harry, that I made sure that you, my trusted Chief Enginer, weren’t informed about the next match I was playing? Could it be that you never knew my droid was fighting in the United Kingdom this afternoon? I think so, Harry.’ Suddenly, they felt a jolt. They were moving. ‘The Hyperon Omega is now being airlifted from the base. It won’t take more than twentyminutes to set down in London. Maybe you’ve got time to consumate your disgusting relationship one last time.’ There was a click, and the crackling stopped. ‘Oh God, Harry! Oh God! What’s he doing?’ Sara wailed. ‘He wants us dead. He knows that, without any missiles in here, he’s going to lose. The droid will be destroyed, and so will we.’ ‘Then what did he mean about opening the doors.’ ‘I don’t know.’ ‘Oh God!’ Sara pressed her tear-streaked face to his chest. ‘I’m sorry, baby.’ They had to be in the open air by now. The autocopter had picked up the droid on a winch and lifted it out of the hangar, like before every arena, with them in it. Harry and Sara sat on the cold floor of the missile bay, embracing, listening to the rumble as they flew. It seemed like moments later that the rumble dropped in pitch. They were slowing. After a burst of static, Jack’s voice came back. ‘In a moment, you’ll be setting down in beautiful London town. Nowadays, it’s not so popular as a tourist destination. I don’t know why. Maybe it’s the nuclear waste. ‘We’ll set down, the doors will open, and you’ll get out. If you don’t, the superheated cleaning solution that’s going to fill the bay in a few minutes will scald you both to death. You won’t even leave a mark. ‘Then, in front of a few billion people, you’ll die. I’ll watch you both die. God bless the networks. Of course, I’ll be absolutely mortified when I find out about your tragic slaughter. Won’t stop me winning the next tournament. Remember, to stop cheaters like Nekroleptic, the AIs that control the droids can’t be interfered with during the match. No one can stop it, no one can keep you from being caught in the crossfire. ‘You might wonder why I’m so willing to give up my beloved wife and my most loyal friend. Well, Sara, you always were just a trophy wife, and I’ve got enough trophies now. And Harry, you must realise that there are a hundred younger, cheaper, smarter engineers queueing up to do your job. I don’t need you. Especially not when you’re screwing my wife.’ The voice paused, and Harry started to comfort Sara, but then the massive droid slammed to the ground, the impact leaving them both sprawled on the metal floor. From all around them came the sounds of other droids powering up and testing their hundreds of components. Sara screamed as the hatch swung open with a clang that echoed around the cramped bay. ‘You’d better be going now, unless you both want to be vaporised,’ the recording said, and then clicked off again. Sara was on her knees, petrified, so Harry had to take her hand and half drag her out through the open hatch. Outside, it was freezing cold and almost dark. Harry looked around at the ruins of Old London. The skyline was black against the smoggy, concrete-grey sky. The buildings around them were cracked and jagged, most with roofs and walls collapsed inwards revealing the dark, gutted interiors. The roads were covered in junk and rubble; fallen bricks and twisted building supports and crushed cars. On the horizon, fires burned, throwing off clouds of noxious smoke. Oily rainwater pooled in the cracks and potholes torn into the ground by laser-fire. Another few season of devestation by tripmines, hyperwaves, and antimatter rockets, and this place wouldn’t even be fit to be an arena. ‘We’re going to die, Harry!’ Sara wailed, her voice cracking. Before he had time to say anything, the arena started. The elctronic hum around them became a roar as the droids shifted to full power, and within a second the first shots were fired. Above their heads, a laser crackled for a fraction of a second. It scorched the thick armour of the Hyperon Omega, Jack’s droid, only a few feet away, the hatch they’d climbed out of still swinging. A Dragonfly shot through the air, buzzing loudly, launching short, fat missiles as it went. Harry grabbed Sara by her waist and dived sideways, pulling her with him behind a tall pile of rubble. The Hyperon Omega, a Behemoth Class, moved slowly away, lethal red beams of light lancing from its guns every few seconds. It was terrifying. They were blinded by the laser-fire that tore through the air around them and deafened by the vast, fiery explosions that rose every moment. They could see Jack’s droid duelling with a Walker Class, blasting at each other with their hyperwave lasers. One of the Hyperon Omega’s weapons slots was taken out, and it looked doomed as the Walker lumbered forward, but then the huge Walker was thrown backward into a ruined wall as an explosion bloomed beneath its feet. A nuclear mine. The Dragonfly flew overhead, its guns hammering. As it passed over them, it swerved to avoid something. Harry looked up and saw, almost invisible against the night sky, the bulbous shape of a camera module, one of hundreds around the arena, relaying the robotic carnage around the world. The same blasts and detonations in perfect stereo sound, the same flames and lasers in impeccable high definition. He wondered if it was watching them as well. And then he knew it was, because a spotlight glared down from the module, illuminating him and Sara for the cameras to get a picture. Billions of people would be watching them, and, as Jack had said, not one of them could do a thing. Sara looked up, a hand across her face to shield her teary eyes. ‘Harry! What’s happening?’ ‘It’s just a camera module, baby. Come on, let’s get out of its vision.’ But as he said it, Harry froze. A single squat missile had been shot smoothly out of the Dragonfly, the curve of choking exhaust crystallising in the air, and seemed to be homing in on the Hyperon Omega. But the Dragonfly’s artificial intelligence had misjudged it, and it flew right past the Behemoth. Harry barely had time to put his arms around Sara before it hit a high brick wall next a few feet away, exploding and bringing tons of debris down upon them. Jack Tulin strolled into the repair bay, his skin goosepimpling in the cold of the vast, drafty hangar. He had just watched, for the third time, the footage of his wife and his Chief Engineer being crushed to a pulp. Already, he was having to look shocked and distraught in interviews. And it wasn’t just the media who were interested, the Senate Secuirty Force were also on his tial. He knew they wouldn’t find any clues. They weren’t even sure they could launch a full enquiry, as none of their investigators were willing to set foot in the irradiated chaos of the United Kingdom arena to find the bodies. He looked at the Hyperon Omega. It was a wreck, after losing badly in the last battle. As if that mattered, now he was free of that whore and her lover. After looking for a little while at the shattered armour and warped joints of the dorid, he turned away. ‘Hello again, Jack.’ He stopped. The voice had come from the speakers mounted around the hangar, used to coordinate the workmen. ‘I’m not going to babble at you, like you did to me and Harry. But you should know one thing, Jack. You said you know we’d been seeing each other for months. Not months, Jack. Years. And he wasn’t the only one.’ Jack turned, and started to speak. He didn’t know what he was going to say. ‘Don’t speak, you bastard. I’ve always hated you. I may have been your trophy, but you were my bank account, nothing else. I loved Harry, and he saved my life, but I couldn’t save his. Goodbye, Jack,’ Sara said, and tapped a button. A broad red laser beam shot from the battered droid. And then the hangar wall was gone, and so was Jack. He didn’t even leave a mark. Written by KungFuMonkey